I did a brave thing this week. This week I stepped outside the boundaries I had set up for myself. I weighed the pro's and con's, made lists and arguements, backed out a few times, and in the end I threw all of that away and just said what I needed and wanted to say, without apology. I immediately felt like throwing up.
Being honest is scary, especially when you stand to lose something or be rejected. What I had to decide is this: Is it worth it to be scared and go for it anyway?
For the past four years I have not let myself get into a situation where I could be emotionally at risk. I refused to take a leap of faith because, really, how often do you get caught? It might be a while before someone catches you with the correct finesse. Too much could go wrong and I might hit the ground too hard and I might even (gasp!) cry! So, I'd just rather not try. That is honestly how I felt about the whole "putting yourself out there" thing. I know I'm not alone in this.
But all of that had to come to an end some time. So, I made a decision. I was ballsy-er than I have every been before. Oh my Lord, was I ballsy! And you know what? It actually worked out.
Is there something completely outside the box that you want to do? Is there something you want to say to someone but can't build up the courage? I know, it seems like a fail/fail situation. Never in a million years is it going to work out the way you are imagining it. You realize you are saying things to yourself like, "If this was a movie it would happen like this", and then it seems even more impossible because we don't live in a movie. This is real life and real life never works out the way you want it too! At least, that's what it feels like, isn't it? But sometimes, every once in a while, there is something that is so important it's worth going for it. It's worth it to admit to yourself that you are terrified and do it anyway. Because sometimes it does work out the way you imagine it will.
I did a brave thing this week. You should too.