I Can See You

The wonderful world of Skype. The pathway between your world and mine; not just verbally, but visually as well. Now we can do more than just talk to each other over the phone, being forced to keep up a good pace with the conversation, feeling awkward when there’s nothing to say, because if there are no words then nothing is going on. All of a sudden we have the ability to hang out with someone across the country, even across the world! You virtually in my room with me, me in yours with you. Does this sound a little too close for comfort to anyone else?

I hate talking on the phone. It doesn’t matter who you are and it’s not personal at all, but most of the time I just don’t want to talk. However, I text all day every day. Side note: If you ever need to get a hold of me, just text. Sometimes I won’t check my voicemail for days. So, you’d think video chatting would seem like a welcome relief to me. But no, I always thought of it as a more involved, high maintenance phone call. I enjoy the freedom that text gives me to answer when I want, think of a witty reply, and deliver it with exactly the right punctuation to get across my true meaning. Why would I want to video chat and be forced to have an actual conversation when I can just shorthand what I want to say in 160 characters or less?

Then, last night, my younger sister, Ashley, (whom I love dearly and always answer the phone for) rang me up on Skype. I hesitated for just a moment, purely out of my prejudice against video chat, and then accepted the call. I was immediately greeted by my lovely little sister’s face. We spent the next hour and a half or so talking, sharing videos online, getting to watch each other as we laughed at the stuff the other person said from hundreds of miles away, and sitting in unawkward silence as one person or the other took care of stuff in the room.

I’m just going to admit it. I couldn’t stop looking at myself in that little box in the corner! Not admiring myself, but just looking. It was my face right there with all my reactions and no makeup. I did not care for that at all. Also, even though it was just my sister, I kept feeling like I needed to fix my hair. “I can look better than this” kept flitting through my mind. I swear it was not vanity that made me think that. I tend to avoid mirrors (unless I feel something clinging to my face, I’d just rather not know) and this was like Ashley was sitting there in front of me hold up a mirror and forcing me to watch myself as I talked. That’s going to take a little getting used to.

We said goodbye, ended the video call, and then she was gone. As close as I am with my family, I don’t know why I hadn’t Skyped before now. I can see why so many people find it useful and I’m sure I’ll start to ring up my sisters and Mom. I may even add a couple friends that still love me with frizzy hair and no makeup.